Who designed this rubbish ?

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Rob
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Location: Richmond, NSW. DLRA #888

Re: well?

Post by Rob » Sun May 11, 2008 6:16 pm

David Leikvold wrote:Hey Rob, what are you doing with '34 rails when you should be tank building?

You're sounding like my bloody missus Dave :wink: ) and I'm not sure I have an appropriate response. It came up, I bought it and 8 months later it finally made the trip north from Norm's.

I had a bog stock Morrie coupe, 6 foot antenna with fox tail on the rear bar and a wolf whistle under the bonnet. I pulled more birds with that car than half the others combined, go figure. I bought it a after 3 trimatics and 2 Aussie 4 speeds in the HQ Statesman I was flat busted but needed to get to work. The Morrie was the cheapest car with rego in the Saturday Tellie at $350. I caught a taxi over, begged the price to $300 and off I went.

The first issue with the Morrie was the left front shockie tore the threads out of the firewall. We can opened the passenger floor and bolted it through. A week later a mate riding in the back complained about the seat bouncing when we hit a bump. Closer inspection revealed the front right spring hanger had torn through the floor. We plated the floor from underneath, put a crowbar in the rear hanger and two mates held a tape from front hubcap to rear hubcap. When both sides of the car matched we welded the front hanger back on. 2 weeks later we did the other side :?

A bit later we were out at Castlereagh for the street rod drags. After the drags we were headed home and I hooked a tight left, the spare gearbox in the boot (doesn't eveyone have one of those?) slid across and shorted the number plate light causing everything to go out including the motor. Shortly thereafter the cabin fills with smoke from the boot and I bailed, locating the problem as I opened the boot and everything came back alive kinda.

A bit further down the road it started to rain, the wipers worked but the lights quit. A mate that was following drove right up my freckle and slightly to one side so I could still see but the whole thing keeled over on the freeway at St Marys so we left it there and came back the next day. Seems minis weren't the only Pommie vehicle suceptible to rain as the damn thing started and I drove it home. From that day forward the headlight acivation came by twisting several red wires together that hung below the dash. I'd done a good job on the wiring at castlereagh as when you had the headlights twisted on and your foot on the brake you could turn the ignition off and the motor didn't stop until you let the brakes go.

We're not done yet, one day with three of us on boad we're coing down the road fom Menai to cross Alford Point bridge and by unanimous vote decide to see just how fast the 998cc of mush can go, all went well until the needle hit 70mph when we hit what came to be known amougst our circle as "hyperspace". Knowing what I know now, we should all have been dead many times as when in hyperspace the whole car shook and flexed so violently that the windscreen should have popped, or at least cracked out of protest.

The last bit of fun was the fuel pump, it was mounted on the firewall, passengers side and at random intervals it would sieze the points and of course, the flame went out. The first time or two it got a flogging with the crank handle when I came up with an alternate idea. it was a great ice breaker when going out with a new bird. Trunling down the road we'd be going to the movies or something when the flame would expire. They'd look at you all worried like and I'd tell 'em to stamp on the floor. This would generally be the first time you'd get "that" look. I'd reach over to their side with my left foot and stamp a couple of times on the passengers floor and away we'd go. Ah the stuff of legends.

Finally firt gea let go and the Poms being engineering giants thoughtfully designed a gearbox where reverse and first are very friendly. I drove that car for 3 months like hat as I just couldn't be buggered to fix anything else.

2 weeks after I moved house the bloody thing got stolen, proving that there is always someone more desperate than you out there!

Sorry for the novel, I was on a roll :lol:

Rob
I owe, I owe, so off to work I go.

David Leikvold
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yakkety yak, don't talk back

Post by David Leikvold » Sun May 11, 2008 7:28 pm

Hey Rob, does your wife give you a list of things to do on the weekend? Mine used to, it'd go something like this: 1) take out the rubbish, 2) wash the car, 3) renovate the house. Then on Sunday night it'd be "why haven't you finished the list, there's only 3 jobs on it? She stopped a long time ago, finally realised I wasn't ever going to finish #3. Happy Mothers Day dear!
Speaking of Vne, the Celica hit warpspeed on the way home from the car yard last July at about 42km/h. At least 2 and probably 3 of the cheap junk tyres had separated internally (steel belts letting go of the rubber case) and were very much egg shaped. I had already driven the Camry home, it was surprisingly nice if you didn't mind smell of the probably been underwater interior, and the Celica was a bit sad by comparison. The battery was dead and it wouldn't idle in drive as it was running on 3 cylinders at low revs so I'm chucking it into neutral and keeping it at about 2,000rpm at the lights and then trundling home at 40km/h wondering what the hell is wrong with it. The exhaust had rusted off in front of the muffler so it was drawing a crowd! Speaking of Castlereagh drags I went there once in 1974 to see Rick "The Iceman" Stewart from the USA do a 7.42 at about 220mph (I think) in a front engined rail. It even had the long drag link that turned the front wheels hard left when it did a wheelie. We all thought it was fabulous. Who would have imagined that eventually Top Fuel would go 3 seconds quicker and 100mph faster? The Winternationals will be with us in a few weeks. What's the bet it'll rain out again in the middle of a drought?
Good, Fast, Cheap, pick any two!

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Dr Goggles
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Location: Right behind you Chief !

diagnose this

Post by Dr Goggles » Sun May 11, 2008 10:58 pm

I load up the panel van ( EH 186 celica 5 speed ) for a gig and make a U-turn in front of my house , it was a motor that I'd scrounged with a Yella Terra head , a Holley and 'stractors so for what it was it went OK. I boot it and it goes about twenty yards falters , and stalls...as I put my foot on the clutch it collapses to the floor and the headlights go out ...the car rolls to a stop and a huge cloud of white smoke or steam pours out of the grill.....

I push it back in front of my house , it's facing the wrong way but I'm in a hurry so I get in the HQ ( yes the one mentioned in the song on this slideshow http://www.dlra.org.au/salt2/salt2.html but not the wagon mentioned earlier ,that was a whole different thing).....the cops give me a ticket for parking too far from the kerb....ta

When I get around to fixing it there is a trail of destruction, the battery has slipped and shorted against the metal clamp down, the clamp has melted and dripped down against the side of the battery and burned a hole through the case, at the bottom mixing sulphuric and red hot metal...but before that handy fusible link let go the current took a short cut down the clutch line rather than the engine earth strap and burned a hole in that too.........however ,when I go to look at the clutch problem there is fluid around the slave, the piston seal is on it's last legs , so I replace it...then I try to bleed up the clutch , it just won't ....the hole in the line is strategically placed so that the fluid leaks into the subframe and drips onto the slave.....I'm in the car I can't hear it squirting out of the hole.......you know those simple problems when you think you're going nuts??? :evil: The battery was only new too......

When I appeal the parking fine they tell me if I had a receipt for the repairs or a tow that they would have considered it.......I dunno I think it all came to around $200....winner.
...few understand what I'm trying to do , but they vastly outnumber those who understand why..

David Leikvold
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matriculate!

Post by David Leikvold » Mon May 12, 2008 12:00 am

I currently own an EF Falcon wagon with an auto tranny that whines slightly under load and is bound to cost me a motza to get fixed. Last year we spent about $3k fixing the engine after the head studs broke. Our second car is a Ford Capri. Five years ago she who must be obeyed said "I'm bored, get me a red 4 seater convertible and don't spend any money". I said I don't steal cars so you'd better like Ford Capris. It has been very reliable since we replaced the ignition module but the list of things that don't work anymore is getting very long. No heater, no AC, the roof look like the sails from the Black Pearl, the paint is shot, the radio crackles, the shifter bushes have fallen out again, blah, blah, blah.
I suspect this is my eternal penance for being too lazy to matriculate and go to university so I could get a career and an income sufficient to buy good cars. I promise I'll do better next time!
Good, Fast, Cheap, pick any two!

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w3stie
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Location: brisbane, australia

Post by w3stie » Mon May 12, 2008 11:45 am

.....but at least they looked cool, hang on...you're talking about the needle...the one I was familiar with was the orange band that moved around the speedo...


Yeh, that was the one. One of the reasons I fell for the car, that and the fins, and my total gullibility. But I was describing the car when it was working well. There were a couple of memorable occasions when it wasn't. Like the first night I got it and drove up Queen St Brisbane (remember Rock'nRoll George) in the rain powered mostly by the starter motor and my sense of embarrasment. Chicks impressed = zero. Or the time It developed a James Bond type smoke screen motoring along near Gailes. The birds still haven't returned. Ah yes, grand times!

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Lynchy
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Post by Lynchy » Mon May 12, 2008 12:08 pm

that whines slightly under load and is bound to cost me a motza to get fixed


Sounds like some of the guys I work with.........

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Dr Goggles
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Taken not turd

Post by Dr Goggles » Mon May 12, 2008 3:07 pm

....James Bond style smoke screen?....the EH van I mentioned had a "stuff up" inside the VH40 brake booster and began ingesting brake fluid....dunno if anyone's had the experience of driving along and thinking " hey , they're looking at me , er no , they're looking at something behind me..." only to look in the rear vision mirror to see a vast mountain of pure white smoke behind the car?.........clown....


btw lynchy...years ago at work a guy is watching( not helping) two of us set up this machine . Just as we fire it up I say to the other guy ...."where did Mick go?"...he says "Mick?.....he was just loitering without intent!"... :lol: :lol:
...few understand what I'm trying to do , but they vastly outnumber those who understand why..

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gennyshovel
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Location: Broken Hill

Post by gennyshovel » Mon May 12, 2008 8:38 pm

My turn,
I'll have to bite my tongue , :P , being a "bike mole" ' n all.
I haven't admited this to many people, but I once owned a 144 GL Volvo :oops: , damn it had a GREAT air con ! , also , more body roll than an FJ , and damn near impossible to find 15" tyres (at the time, a rarity).
I took the Missus and kids for a trip down past Mildura for a weekend, spare battery in the boot (fuel injection enrichener didn't work), and comming home, the air con was humming, the Tape deck screaming, when the tune seemed to develop a "tick"?
Off went the Stereo, tick still there, off went the A/C, tick was now a rattle.
Stops , turns off, restart,,oops, hot, no start, silly me.
Feeling all was not well, I flagged down the next car, threw the missus and kids in, hooked up the spare battery in preparation for a SLOW trip home, The Vulva roared into life, so slipped it into drive, (by this time, the rattle was quickly turning into a definite knock.
Bugger me if as soon as I got all 4 wheels on the bitumen, she threw a leg outa bed and ground to a halt.
I eventually got it home on a trailer, and convinced a bloke he wanted to buy it, the price,,,with 4 new tyres,,,$400.. without,,,,take it away, he picked the latter, apparantly the 1st bits he bought for it was a top end gasket set,,,,,,,,$450 bloody dollars,,I wonder if it ever came to life again?
Tiny
Tiny DLRA# 484
Postiebike Racing , created & funded by TwoBob Engineering

ben james
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Location: melbourne

Post by ben james » Tue May 13, 2008 7:54 pm

don't knock the volvo wagon, my 245 wagon made it to the salt & back twice. funny thing is glove box catch failed on morning that we left both years. remember that stewie. didn't have very good vision, you couldn't see emus about to cross your path very well.
ben james dlra#389
moriwaki monster.

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Dr Goggles
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background

Post by Dr Goggles » Wed May 14, 2008 10:26 pm

....that 245 came from Bob the guy I mentioned earlier and was a one owner car ....it had been however treated to little in the way of repairs over the later years and so when Bob got it it needed a lot of cosmetic stuff....every lens was busted and everything inside that could be torn bent or broken was....however we had no shortage of bits and so we fixed everything and put it through a RWC and sold it to a backpacker who then sold it to our Ben....there was one little humorous bit ....I had to do a little panel work and fix a rust hole......I wish I'd taken a photo of it before I fixed it because it was on the rear quarter about six inches back from the offside door.....directly under the "Ming" rustproofing sticker... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

it was bulletproof that car.......me and Benny had some pretty funny times in it going to the Lake the first time...
...few understand what I'm trying to do , but they vastly outnumber those who understand why..

grumm441
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Volvo's and smoking

Post by grumm441 » Thu May 15, 2008 8:20 pm

....James Bond style smoke screen?....the EH van I mentioned had a "stuff up" inside the VH40 brake booster and began ingesting brake fluid....dunno if anyone's had the experience of driving along and thinking " hey , they're looking at me , er no , they're looking at something behind me..." only to look in the rear vision mirror to see a vast mountain of pure white smoke behind the car?.........clown....


I had similar WTF moment with my dastsun 1600
I was driving along thinking to myself why is everyone staring at me
Well it turned out that the vacuum modulator on the powerglide had shat itself, and it was sucking the oil out of the trans and into the inlet manifold.
Small white car followed by a large white cloud
Powerglide? i hear you say
Well that's what motor came with (see avatar)
That was fun car
They make it
I make it work

David Leikvold
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hot Datt

Post by David Leikvold » Fri May 16, 2008 7:37 am

Speaking of hot Datsuns, I was driving home one night at least 10 years ago when I noticed a beige coloured Datsun 1200 4 door full of teenagers. It was trying to look stock but the paint was brand new, it was very low, had no badges and had 14" Commodore plastic hub caps with a black and white Qld number plate that indicated an engine swap and nitrous. I finally managed to catch it and said "What have you got in that?" "Extractors", "Yeah, but two sets I'll bet!" It had a 302 and nitrous and was well known at Willowbank street meets. Nice car. I think they were surprised that an old(ish) bloke in an old stock Mazda 626 would spot it!
Good, Fast, Cheap, pick any two!

DON NOBLE
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Re: hot Datt

Post by DON NOBLE » Fri May 16, 2008 8:15 am

[quote="David Leikvold"]Speaking of hot Datsuns,

Ah now you talkin !!!!

I like havin fun against yuppy mobiles , you know the type Audi TiTies VW Borings , Sarby type things and ppls in 4ltr V6 SRVs , all think they Fangio driving bloody race cars . They get a tad upset by the bogan lookin old wagon . Now if i ever get the V8 running or whack a turbo on the 6 , I be able to go out and tackle the tradies in their V8 falcomadore utes .
Street racing , not me officer sir , I an old fart and just look at me bogan wagon , you must be mistooken .
Oh its a damn jungle out there !!!!
NOW LIVE IN NEW ZEALAND
RED NISSAN WAGON 1986 # 281
2002 F/PRO 125.4 MPH RECORD
2003 F/PRO 140.2 MPH RECORD
2005 F/GC 137.9 MPH RECORD
2006 F/GC 141.1 MPH RECORD
1/4 mile ( drags ) @ Willowbank 14.15 @ 97.61 mph August 2006

David Leikvold
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Location: Brisbane

trans trash

Post by David Leikvold » Tue Jun 10, 2008 8:08 am

Got the auto trans fixed last week, I couldn't stand the noise anymore and I got sick of not being able to select Drive when facing uphill. $1,400 bucks later it seems good. The guys at the shop told me the story of why the EF doesn't have a trans dipstick. Apparently, and I have no verification of this if any Ford lawyers are watching, even though it worked fine the trans would often run hot enough to turn the fluid brown, so astute owners would demand this be fixed under warranty. Ford got sick of this and deleted the owner's ability to see what was happening in there. Mine, even though it is on its third radiator, still managed to fill the trans filter with bits of brass from the disintegrating original heat exchanger in the RH tank. The 2nd gear band was partially metal to metal and the filter was almost clogged solid with band liner material. They suspect the sump gasket was original or at the very least seriously old. I wonder how much I've paid over the years for trans services that were never done?
Oh, by the way, they said they NEVER have any trouble with Toyota transmissions. He did however say that I might have trouble getting the Camry trans to happily cope with 600hp.
Good, Fast, Cheap, pick any two!

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Dr Goggles
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Re: trans trash

Post by Dr Goggles » Fri Jun 13, 2008 8:56 am

David Leikvold wrote:He did however say that I might have trouble getting the Camry trans to happily cope with 600hp.


well , you should be fine then Dave... :wink:
...few understand what I'm trying to do , but they vastly outnumber those who understand why..

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